Nameless One, 11/18
Jul. 3rd, 2011 09:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jackofknavesTitle: Nameless One
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
tripatch
Rating: R
Pairing: Hannibal/Face
Summary: Kinkmeme prompt, Face secretly takes meds for bipolar disorder. But for whatever reason, Face is no longer on his meds. Then the manic behavior starts, from getting into a mess of fights to needing to have tons of sex with strangers. Then when the emotional roller coaster stuff starts, Face begins cutting himself during the darkest times. His teammates notice, and try to help but Face is stubborn and refuses help, heavily in denial.
Additional Notes: Title taken from James Clarence Mangan's poem, "Nameless One".
They finally give up on coaxing or cajoling after a week.
B.A. is the one who bullies him into getting out of bed, rough voice completely at odds with his gentle hands. He lays out his clothes and waits for him to dress, pushes him into the bathroom and tells him gruffly to brush his teeth.
Face stares at the sink, the tiny accumulation of water seeping through the drain, until B.A. squeezes some toothpaste onto a toothbrush and hands it to him.
He’s annoyed, Face realizes dimly. Not at Face exactly, but he’s annoyed because he’s a mechanic, and he wants this to be a problem he can fix with his hands and skills, like a drain plug frozen on too tight.
And if Face is honest, he wants that, too. He wants whatever’s broken inside his mind to be replaced, all the bad gunk drained out and replaced with new. He gets a sudden image of B.A. unscrewing the top of his head, pulling out his brain and glaring at it like it’s an oil filter that’s corroded through and replacing it with a brand new one.
He opens his mouth to laugh and isn’t surprised when choked sobs come out instead.
He spits out the foam in his mouth into the sink and retreats back to the main room, collapsing onto the bedspread. B.A. watches him, rubbing his shoulder to no reaction, before disappearing downstairs.
Murdock finds him curled up on the bed staring out the window as he wishes it were dark outside. Without saying anything, he climbs onto the mattress and gently tugs at Face’s shoulder until he rolls over, then wraps him up in his arms.
“Is it that bad?”
No telling him to buck up, no telling him to get over it, none of the things Face keeps telling himself.
He nods into Murdock’s warm neck, breathing in his scent. He wants to say something, but he doesn’t know how to explain this, not in any way that makes sense.
“Okay, honey,” Murdock murmurs, holding him tighter. “Okay.”
They lie like that for a moment more, before Face musters up the energy to ask where B.A. went, where Hannibal’s been hiding while Face froze inside in the middle of summer.
Murdock’s hesitates before reluctantly admitting, “They went to find you a doctor.”
Face thinks about it, about how he should be upset, should be mad, something, but instead he just nods and doesn’t say anything at all.
Murdock just holds him tighter, keeping him from turning into an ice-white statue where there once was a golden boy.
Author:
tripatchRating: R
Pairing: Hannibal/Face
Summary: Kinkmeme prompt, Face secretly takes meds for bipolar disorder. But for whatever reason, Face is no longer on his meds. Then the manic behavior starts, from getting into a mess of fights to needing to have tons of sex with strangers. Then when the emotional roller coaster stuff starts, Face begins cutting himself during the darkest times. His teammates notice, and try to help but Face is stubborn and refuses help, heavily in denial.
Additional Notes: Title taken from James Clarence Mangan's poem, "Nameless One".
They finally give up on coaxing or cajoling after a week.
B.A. is the one who bullies him into getting out of bed, rough voice completely at odds with his gentle hands. He lays out his clothes and waits for him to dress, pushes him into the bathroom and tells him gruffly to brush his teeth.
Face stares at the sink, the tiny accumulation of water seeping through the drain, until B.A. squeezes some toothpaste onto a toothbrush and hands it to him.
He’s annoyed, Face realizes dimly. Not at Face exactly, but he’s annoyed because he’s a mechanic, and he wants this to be a problem he can fix with his hands and skills, like a drain plug frozen on too tight.
And if Face is honest, he wants that, too. He wants whatever’s broken inside his mind to be replaced, all the bad gunk drained out and replaced with new. He gets a sudden image of B.A. unscrewing the top of his head, pulling out his brain and glaring at it like it’s an oil filter that’s corroded through and replacing it with a brand new one.
He opens his mouth to laugh and isn’t surprised when choked sobs come out instead.
He spits out the foam in his mouth into the sink and retreats back to the main room, collapsing onto the bedspread. B.A. watches him, rubbing his shoulder to no reaction, before disappearing downstairs.
Murdock finds him curled up on the bed staring out the window as he wishes it were dark outside. Without saying anything, he climbs onto the mattress and gently tugs at Face’s shoulder until he rolls over, then wraps him up in his arms.
“Is it that bad?”
No telling him to buck up, no telling him to get over it, none of the things Face keeps telling himself.
He nods into Murdock’s warm neck, breathing in his scent. He wants to say something, but he doesn’t know how to explain this, not in any way that makes sense.
“Okay, honey,” Murdock murmurs, holding him tighter. “Okay.”
They lie like that for a moment more, before Face musters up the energy to ask where B.A. went, where Hannibal’s been hiding while Face froze inside in the middle of summer.
Murdock’s hesitates before reluctantly admitting, “They went to find you a doctor.”
Face thinks about it, about how he should be upset, should be mad, something, but instead he just nods and doesn’t say anything at all.
Murdock just holds him tighter, keeping him from turning into an ice-white statue where there once was a golden boy.
